If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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