so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
