I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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