addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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