Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She's the barista slut.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
