I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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