I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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