Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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