Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
