that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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