Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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