Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
