I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
