Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize