That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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