I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I've blown a few things in my day
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize