Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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