I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
