I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I don't deserve a penis
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize