"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
