so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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