I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize