At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
