By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize