take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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