I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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