we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
