I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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