She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize