Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
