he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
