I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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