Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
