is your mom at the bar?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
soo... how was my night?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
