do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
