Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
