im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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