I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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