Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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