why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you had me at cake vodka
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
