We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
