the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
