You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
