If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
