If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
