It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
