I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home