and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.