she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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