I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
honey bunches of taint.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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