I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize