Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize