he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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