I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
