Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
