He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
